he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
