words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
