I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
