My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
