i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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