Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
