he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
