Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
