they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
