believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
