so that wasnt chicken after all
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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