The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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