which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
