I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
