so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
