I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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