Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
