my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
