we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
