I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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