Her vagina should come with caution tape.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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