Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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