Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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