GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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