Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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