my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize