either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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