He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I believe in your delicious
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize