I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
