I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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