So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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