We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize