Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
