I heard we made out
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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