Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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