she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My vagina is officially offended.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
