Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
