He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
