im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Shame is for Republicans.
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