Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
