her vagine was all disorganized.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
