I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
