you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
