I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
