Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize