i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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