Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just google imaged poop.
false alarm. still invincible.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
