Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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