i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
