I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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