We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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