I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
