im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
