So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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