I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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