seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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