it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
