I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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