You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
