i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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