dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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