New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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