All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He shit in the fireplace
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
